Life Lessons in Makeup || A Conversation with Felicia Linsky

Foreign.

Welcome everyone to the Real Life Real Kitchen podcast.

And I am really excited.

I've got Felicia Lynske here who is a Hollywood makeup artist and mindfulness coach and just all round wonderful person and she has, she's joining me all the way from California, which I, I can't get over the wonderfulness of the technology so still amazes me.

And today we're just going to be talking about, well, life, beauty, identity, careers and rounding it off for all the mums who are super busy and just feel like they've been dragged through a bush backwards with some actual practical tips to quickly make ourselves look fabulous without acres of foundation and hours of hair straightening.

So yeah, that's.

So I'm really looking forward to this chat.

So Felicia, we'll start.

How, how are you originally from California or have you been on a bit of a journey?

What's happened?

Yeah, no, I call myself a cheesehead flatlander now from abroad you'd be like, what are you talking about?

Yeah.

But what that means is that I, I was born in Illinois and raised between Illinois and Wisconsin, between my Asian and where I spent my summers.

So I consider myself a very earthen grounded young woman even though I'm a little above the young woman part at this point.

Yeah.

Successfully.

And all the directors and producers that I was working with at the time were like, what are you doing in Chicago?

You gotta come to la.

And that was, that was specifically for makeup and hair at the time because.

I was doing already films but I wasn't intending to do makeup and hair, but I was, that's the career that chose me at the time.

So how do you fall into that?

Because we live in, we live in a world certainly here in the UK you go to school and at 16, 17, you say, well, I'm going to do, you know, studied to become a beauty therapist or I'm going to, you know, you get qualifications and things.

How does one sort of.

How did you stumble into makeup artistry?

Was that you going, this is my calling.

What happened?

I grew up third generation in the fashion industry.

That was a huge influence on me.

Yeah.

I also grew up as a fine artist.

Ah.

So I was classically trained as an illustrator, painter, sculptor, photographer.

Which I also was very science minded.

So I was, I really wanted to go into the sciences.

Yeah.

Really wanted to become pre med.

So I pursued that.

Yeah.

And that's what I pursued in my advanced education.

And after My second year of my pre med, I was like, oh, no, I'm not doing this anymore.

This isn't going to use my talents.

And I was there a moment during that in the pre med where you just went.

Because you.

I mean, in terms of medicine, there are disciplines within that that attract more of a creative, soulful, spiritual type.

But was there.

What was there in that moment where you said, no, not for me.

So in my pre med, I was combining it with my fine arts, and I was originally training to do medical illustration, which meant that you were communicating for surgeries.

And, you know.

You know, think about the anatomy of.

You know, think of Leonardo da Vinci.

Yeah.

Like.

Like really?

His sketchbooks and things.

Yeah.

And so I was in surgeries at 18 and 19 years old, and my.

My mentors were.

I mean, first off, this is a very finite kind of a career, and there's very few institutions that you can actually get this education from.

And I qualified.

I just saw things that I didn't like, and I saw the way people were being treated, the way a patient was being treated.

Yeah.

And I didn't like.

And I just thought, there's gotta be more.

I mean, the irony is today I still feel there's gotta be more to show, you know, it's like, I don't think that ever ends.

Which will lead us to way more questions than answers.

But I was.

But then what the pivot that I took was, then I went into filmmaking.

Yeah.

And I went to study filmmaking to direct.

And in.

In my doing that, then I was.

What happened was my younger sister had to graduate early from.

From high school to go to college.

It was boarding school, didn't college.

It was during the Reagan era for anybody who follows politics.

And our father had died young, and we were on Social Security, and it was a lot of things.

And my mom had said, I need you to go be with your sister.

So even though I was doing really well in my directing program, I had to just go do that.

I mean, so it was a.

It was like pivot, Pivot, pivot.

And how do you land and how do you survive and how do you stay focused?

Yeah.

I never lost the fine arts.

I never lost the science.

But at the end of it, I just had a lot of debt from school, and I had to figure it out.

And what happened in my last two years of college?

One guy randomly asked me if I could cut his hair.

Wow.

And I was like, I don't know why you're asking me.

And he's like, because I just Feel like you could do it.

And one guy turned into 300.

Yep.

Yep.

And I was like, I need to do something with this.

I need to pay back my loans.

Yeah.

So I enrolled in beauty school after I graduated and I.

My family was going to lose their shit.

No.

What?

No kidding.

Like I can imagine the pressure to succeed in sort of respectable careers.

Yeah, yeah.

You're going from pre med to beauty school.

Yeah.

But it just doesn't link up.

And my only answer I could give at the time was just trust me to figure this out, which I was just doing to like get them off my back because I didn't have any of it figured out.

And the point is, is you never have it figured out.

No, no.

So for anybody who's listening, I want you to hear that from a place of love and not because everything and anything that you do doesn't matter, but there's no, there's no figuring it out on this thing called life.

You can't control it, can you?

But you can also.

There is an element within your heart that you can listen to that trust of.

I don't know where this is taking me, but I know that way in your instance, the pre med is just wrong.

But this way I'm going to see, see how this goes.

This feels right, but it, it's a strange.

Can you describe that sort of sense of feeling?

Right.

Because there's a difference between the sort of.

The headiness of, oh, I'm in love and he's fabulous and he's so wonderful and you get all kind of giddy.

It's a different feeling, isn't it?

Yeah.

The dopamine kind of reaction that you're talking about, it's like it all felt.

There's all aspects of me that fit into those categories, be it the medicine versus the art versus like getting a quick result of a great haircut.

But as a very real, like reality based kid who was faced with seeing my parents divorce, lose our family's businesses and my father die all within five months and I was 14.

I learned at a very young age.

And then watching a mother at 42 with three kids making $8,000 as a public school teacher, I just knew that I had a job which was to take care of myself and nobody else was going to pay back my school loans.

And at that point it just didn't matter.

You just had to be a functional human being.

How I got fortunate enough to have the extraordinary career I have had up, you know, has been a cross between good fortune, perseverance, Timing, luck, fairy dust.

Yeah.

Because also, I mean, Hollywood in the 90s, you think of a lot of the films that were going along, a lot of the actors and actresses that from the outside or the side of the Atlantic or wherever we are, that that's a very sort of glamorous period.

Lot of exciting things happening to go from Chicago to that.

Was it as glamorous arriving in LA for the first time as we have images of.

With a little bit.

You know, it's so funny.

My husband was.

Was it last night or the night before Beverly Hills Cop 2 was on?

Yes.

And I was like watching certain, you know, parts of the film and I was like, wow.

That's right.

If people see this, this is exactly what they expect.

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

Jiggle.

What was it?

American jiggle.

Yeah.

And Pretty Women and things like that.

In answer to your question, I had one connection out here.

That connection did not help me get anything.

Everything that I got was all from me.

Cold calling, people, sending out my resume, pursuing.

Because I had built a portfolio.

I had run my own photo studio with my first husband from Chicago.

Yeah.

Who I came to LA with initially.

And I got really fortunate from.

I mean, just because I hit the pavement.

What Hollywood is today is not what Hollywood was then or even five years ago.

Hollywood has left the country.

Hollywood is where you're at right now.

Whatever.

In Europe.

Europe, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, it's always, you know, and elsewhere, it's really exited this country in a way that's been really detrimental to our.

Our industry.

As many industries have been.

Yeah.

Affected.

And then also that, that.

I mean, that's the kind of reduction of the creative types as well, who would be attracted to the area.

And that buzz.

That buzz.

So that is a huge change in the past five, ten years that's happened.

Yeah, no, it's.

I mean, it's as recent as the last three because since going through.

And I know we're kind of jumping.

So I'm not meaning to that, but as you know, I just survived ovarian cancer and that, that, that literally tomorrow will be three years since my surgery.

Yeah.

And I was on a huge Hollywood movie at the time.

And when I came out of that surgery, I was going back to that movie.

And I had that movie to go back to.

That I was gotten through, went into remission and was ready to go back when the strike occurred with the writers and the actors.

And that was really the beginning of what I call the end of the Hollywood that me and many people have known for a vast amount of time.

30 odd years at least.

What do you think is going to happen?

Because there's also.

It's not just the big films but you've got the competitions between Obviously the streaming TV, I mean YouTube that we will be appearing on later.

You're part of the problem, Felicia.

You're part of the problem.

But what do you think is going to happen to Hollywood?

Is it going to be sort of a fragmentation and become these kind of small satellites rather than this central hub?

What do you think will happen?

Well, I think it's like, it's even like I shared just a minute or two ago, you know, I ran my own photo studio with my first husband as a filmmaker.

I was trained as a photographer and a filmmaker.

And I'm just going to kind of circle back to the how I chose the makeup and hair for you for just a second, for your audience personally purposes.

I went into film to direct, but I was a woman.

Yeah.

I wasn't allowed to direct.

Yeah.

So why did you, why did I choose makeup and hair?

Because I knew I could do it.

I was already doing it and I knew that was still my way of being able to communicate storytelling as a visual artist and still be able to be a part of the entertainment industry.

Be a working artist.

Yeah, knock wood, you know, because of course there's no guarantee that's, that's just a big dream and, and something I was willing to pursue.

Like I could, I, for some reason I felt like I could figure it out.

Yeah.

Which, you know, the truth of the matter was I was, you know, sinking in debt, as I said.

Oh.

You know, wanting to just be a creative, productive person who was also creating success in my life.

Yeah, I think that's.

Do you know, years ago I remember seeing a documentary about English culture by a chap called Grayson Perry.

He was a ceramicist over here and he went up to a place called Sunderland, which is quite deprived, part of the northeast of England and he was talking to a lady in the tattoo shop who had been fine art college, all of this classically trained painter.

And she said, I wanted to Come home.

But there's not much call for portrait artistry in Sunderland.

So I've become a tattoo artist and I love it.

I love it because I'm with the people, I'm hearing their stories, I'm using my art and they are challenging me in ways that I never imagined at art college.

And I love it.

And that, that really well, clearly I brought it up years later in conversation with you, but I think it's so important and I'm thinking a lot of the mums who are listening at the moment who, who feel they're kind of trapped in, within an identity of career or this is what I was before I become a mother or even I'm only a mother.

Right.

It's taking those steps, talents and gifts you have and then going right, as you say, still being, create creative or using those gifts.

But how can I do it successfully?

Let's look at it from different, different angles.

Yes.

Yeah.

And, and to that point, Zoe, it's, you know, I really, if, if I were being honest, there are many, many years that I fought being a makeup and hair artist.

Not because I wasn't really great at it, on the contrary.

And I say that with humility, I don't say that with ego.

I've been around so much ego over the years, I want to like claim the complete opposite.

And I'm sure to some I come off like very egotistical.

That's my passion you're hearing.

There's nothing to do with ego.

I'd be the first one to be the first self deprecating person on the planet.

But, but it's also so refreshing to hear that's my gift.

That is my gift.

And I'm good at it.

And I'm good at it.

And that is, that is actually so good to hear.

The honesty, that's my talent.

And as you say, it's not a kind of a smug, well, look at me, but very much, yeah, this is my gift and I'm honoring it.

And off we go.

Well, and to that point, Zoe, you know, whether you're a child, so you're a mother raising children and you want the best for your children, but you also want the best for yourself.

And one of the things that, you know, was really, really important to me was not only figuring it out because I'd been working since I was a young kid in my family's business, but as an artist.

I was born an artist.

That was something that no matter what was going on around me, good, bad or otherwise, that I knew nobody could Take away from me.

So I've gone through a career where I've been told I'm a threat from people.

I've been told that, you know, and it's like, look, there's a lot of great talent out there.

Yep.

The threat wasn't so much my artistry, although I think that that was what I was told was part of it.

It was the overall package.

Yeah.

How I spoke, how I carried myself, how educated I was, how.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You know, what do you say to your child?

Don't go out and be the best, well educated, passionate little boy or girl and go do the best you can possibly do.

No, no, no, no.

Why, why, why do you even.

Why do you even make love and produce these children then?

Yeah, yeah.

Well, like, what are we doing to one another?

So, you know, I was that kid who was lucky enough to have parents who loved culture and the arts, recognized my gift, helped me develop it.

But I was the one who developed it ultimately and stuck with it.

And it wasn't just fine arts, it was music.

I was the first cellist.

But I started winning awards when I was a little kid that really gave and built me the confidence to keep going.

And like I said, it was also the thing that nobody could take away.

So I just knew that I wasn't going to be an accountant.

Even though I like numbers.

Yeah.

It wasn't.

That wasn't my thing.

So I had to figure it out.

The fact that I was able to figure it out up till now has been really, like.

It actually makes me proud.

Even with all this stuff that's happened.

And we'll get into, like, what do I think's happening with Hollywood?

But think.

I think as somebody who.

And I took the science.

Yeah.

And my love for people and my love.

I've always been, since I was a very little girl, curious.

I always loved a great conversation, you.

Know, that about me.

And, you know, you just bring that all together.

Well, what's better than putting somebody in a chair, having an audience and creating results.

Yeah.

And then you get to put on camera and then you get to, like, make stars, so to speak.

Yeah.

You're creating these incredible.

The word that comes to mind is confection, which sounds quite frivolous, but that's not what I mean.

You're bringing together all these beautiful elements and creating something utterly captivating that transports people away.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I'll tell you what, I take that to heart, and I think that that was part of the threat because I was truly a Classically trained filmmaker.

Yeah.

I mean, even to this day, there are certain people who work with me who.

It's not like I need to wear a sandwich card on my chest going, this is what I did.

No, but it's why and how I approached my work so passionately.

Like, I took that written word and I wanted to bring it to life, into the whole storytelling way.

And the way I was trained as a filmmaker was literally sitting in a room by myself watching Charlie Chaplin movies.

Wow.

That's extremely powerful because there it is.

Just because he was musical as well, that was his training.

There's just the kind of.

There's that balance between the subtlety of the face, but a big enough movement that people in the theater can watch it.

So much going on with the body, obviously, the makeup is a huge part of it, but because it was silent as well, you have to focus on the body, the costume, the movement.

That's the sport, the storytelling, the emotions that come across.

Yeah.

Huge.

How do you sell that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so I.

And of course, I studied a lot of other filmmakers throughout my education, but it really set me on a path to tell story in a way that when I had a character to develop or an actor in my chair, and I would be telling them my thoughts or whether it was a producer or director, whatever, whether they bought it or not.

Honestly, Zoe, like, as an artist, it's.

Like, actually, don't say anything.

This is what's happening.

I mean, there's.

There's a little bit of a strong head there.

You know?

I mean, I know that if I don't know, I'm going to tell you.

I don't know.

Yeah.

But I also know, as a visionary.

Yeah.

You know, I know that I'm going to over deliver.

Yeah.

Versus under deliver.

Yeah.

Because there's nothing worse than in some ways, sending somebody into the.

Into the world and going, oh, that.

Ooh.

Well, it's funny.

I woke up this morning, you're, like, responding to, you know, your message and what have you.

And I saw this.

This note, ironically, from somebody up in Portland, Oregon, who is also in this aspect of the artistry, commenting on somebody who.

I don't know if they'd spoken, presented.

I don't know what they were doing, but they were talking about how continuity wasn't important.

What?

What?

Oh, I was like, no, no, you're not a filmmaker.

No.

Because there's or shouldn't be a filmmaker.

And I was just like.

And I was doing everything to try to, like, contain myself and how Do I tactfully respond to this?

My goodness.

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That's so jarring because isn't that I can't remember what film is it.

Is it Basic Instinct where they're having a sort of rumpy pumpy moment on the table.

Michael Douglas and whoever it is, Sharon Stone.

I forgot to check the clock.

So the clock in the background.

The time isn't right.

Oh.

Oh.

I mean, it takes you out of the story.

Yeah.

Because you get distracted.

It's like, it's like in the theater if you are.

I was always told when I was doing lighting and sound, if they notice your noise, your noises or they see all the light is too much, you've ruined it.

You've ruined it.

It's so important to have that to really draw the people in, dear.

No, no, no.

I agree with you completely, Felicia.

Well, and I came from live theater as well and I performed.

So it was one of those things where it was like, this is a collaboration and I've got to carry my part.

My part is to deliver in every way, shape, form.

I don't care If I'm working 18 hours a day in the 40 below zero or through, you know, triple digit heat or whatever.

My job is to tell the story right and to stay on top of it.

And I will tell you, I've seen people come to this business who, it's, it's like I look at them and I'll be like, did you even read the script?

Let alone to what we're doing today?

Wow.

And I go, I don't know how in heck you even got into this industry or got allowed to be a part of this industry, but there's a lot of ways people have gotten into this industry that doesn't seem so kosher.

Diplomatically put.

Felicia.

I'll do my best to be diplomatic, but I've, I've literally gotten calls from editors.

Yeah.

Thanking me when they're putting together the movie.

Yeah.

And I mean, I did a Stephen King miniseries years ago that I department headed and it literally takes place on a tarmac over 24 hours and we shot it for three months.

Wow.

So that.

And I was the head of hair.

I was the head of hair.

Wow.

So, you know, hair jumps.

Yeah.

And it.

It grows and it grows, grows.

And.

And I was like on it like white on rice, as they say.

Yeah.

And this editor calls me up and he was like, I just needed to call you.

And I said, is everything okay?

And he said, you have made.

I have never seen anybody cover continuity in such a conscious way that you have with the story timeline.

That has allowed me to cut a film together so smoothly.

Beautiful.

Because of your consciousness.

Well, that for me was like everything.

Yeah.

For somebody else to notice that, that's.

Yeah.

Huge.

Huge.

Yeah.

Because integrity, to me is everything.

Bringing value, you know, to the.

To the world is.

How do you.

Do you leave it better then when you.

That's the bottom line.

It's like the medieval stonemasons in the cathedrals in Europe, they would have you go up to the.

So I'm thinking back to my years doing art history.

You'd go up into kind of the hidden bits of the cathedrals, and they have still decorated beautifully.

The masons have decorated the bosses beautifully.

Nobody's going to see them except God.

So they're like, no, we're still bringing our a.

Again, not that they would have said it in medieval Europe like that, but, you know, it's still.

It's about respecting ourselves.

It's honoring others.

It's honoring a greater power.

It's a really important thing.

Yeah.

It's energy.

It's all energy.

At the end of the day, whether it was in medieval times or present day, we feel that we experience that because of the passion and purposefulness and intentionality that was put forth.

Yeah, yeah.

And because of it, you go into those moments or those spaces and you experience that.

I have a question now about beauty.

You have obviously worked with people who I'm sure, again, on the outside world, we've gone.

Those people are absolutely beautiful.

Gorgeous, wonderful hair and all of that.

I'm sure that there's been a lot of kind of artistic jiggery pokery to make that actually happen.

Happen.

But in your experience, because you're obviously quite close and personal to people, what do you think makes a truly beautiful person?

I mean, both we can do outside, we can do inside, we can do.

We can do the whole gamut.

Yeah.

Well, it's an outside b.

Beauty comes from the inside.

Beauty comes from the inside.

I don't care how.

How much fairy dust was sprinkled on you and how magnetically, David, like, you've been born to look like, you know, and when I sat around David in Florence meet, I did for hours, just streaming tears down my face.

My mother was like, are you okay?

And I was just like, please, just give me space.

Just.

I mean, because I think I lived another lifetime with these people.

But that's here nor there.

But.

You know, I.

Yes, I've worked with people who have been anointed this way.

And I'm just here to personally say.

And I had to stop myself this morning from getting on live because I'm.

I'm feeling more like the Sicilian volcano Betty too erupt.

Because I'm just so done with the bullshit.

And I'm done with people being rewarded for things that they don't even bring to the table.

So literally, just the image, but they're not coming back to that point about sort of the working hard, the integrity, bringing your gifts.

It's not there.

I mean, I think that as a human, I'm gonna give space for space and be a little.

I'm a little bit more.

No, I'm.

I'm.

I'm a big, you know, like, lion.

Like, I'm going to, you know, cuddle with you, but there's also a part of me that's going to roar and be like, you're bullshit.

And I think it was because there was this interview going on this morning with a very famous actress who couldn't speak for nothing.

And this is somebody that's been around for 40 years, and I thought, oh, my God, you cannot speak except if a line was given to you.

Hmm, Shameful.

But exactly who they are, and only because of their look have they gotten and had the opportunities that they've had.

And that saddens me because even though I have participated in this illusion and I've had these beliefs since I was in my 20s, when I first got started in this career, I am just not okay with making others feel not good or that they're not able to have those things only that person can.

Or that person can because they look a certain way.

First off, every one of those people has a team around them that is, as I say, with love, putting Humpty Dumpty up on the wall.

Oh, dear.

I'm propping them up from behind and hope we don't have egg on our face.

Yep.

Listen, I say that with love, but the truth of the matter is, I'm not saying that everybody isn't talented.

That's not what I'm saying.

I've just seen so much unattractive things done in this industry, so much hurtful, abusive, toxic stuff that never did I ever sign up for.

And I've had a lot of great rewarding things, experiences.

But I definitely believe that beauty comes from the inside and emanates outwardly.

And it's a soul thing.

Yeah, there's Roald Dahl, who wrote Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and things like this.

He wrote a book called the Twits as well.

And it's something.

I remember reading that as a child and he was Talking about how Mrs. Twit used to be very pretty, but she thought terrible thoughts.

And then she got uglier and uglier and uglier.

And he says, and there's something in the lines of, you could be fat with a wart on your nose and sticky outy teeth, but if you're thinking beautiful thoughts, you'll be the most glorious and beautiful person.

Yeah, yeah, listen, I mean, I definitely didn't grow up, you know, the blonde, thin kid that was, you know, the, the look of a certain look that we all seem to think is like.

The look.

Yeah, I was definitely not that kid.

I was like the little Sicilian Jewish chubby girl.

Wasn't there that song?

Oh, what's her name?

Oh, I'll put the link in the show notes.

I learned the truth at 17.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Love was meant for beauty queens and white eyed girls with blue skin.

Something or other.

That one.

Yeah, but that's pretty much what you're saying.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I will tell you that I remember I used to always go, wow, well, how did I get chosen?

The president?

Or how did I get that attractive guy?

Or how did I.

And then I had to stop and go, felicia, because you, you care.

People feel heard and seen.

People want to be with you because they know that you're going to give them not bullshit but honest love.

They feel better.

I mean, I've been doing this since I was like, I came out of the, you know, the womb, but, but not consciously.

But as I look through the decades, that's my takeaway.

You can see the patterns.

Yeah, so it goes back to, you know, you don't have to be born with, excuse me, the string of your tush.

Like to succeed you just have to figure out your own path.

Yeah, yeah.

And also I think there's certain elements to it sort of being at peace with the fact life is not a corporate ladder.

Life is not what we were told it was at school and also to try and it's really hard sometimes when you feel you are out of control.

I think motherhood has many moments like that, but just being a woman, full stop, has lots of moments of being out of control.

But.

But looking with a curiosity almost rather than a woe is me.

But actually curiosity.

Yep.

I acknowledge the crapness.

I wonder what glory will come of this.

It's.

It's kind of flipping.

Flipping it.

And all of a sudden everything lightens a little bit when you have that.

I think it's about remaining open.

Yeah.

Possibility.

Like keeping that wonderment, that childhood wonderment.

Yeah.

About yourself.

Yeah.

Because to your point, we haven't sold a bill of goods.

And women do not take a straight path.

Just look at our monthly cycle.

We're like this.

The men, their hormones.

Yeah.

And women, you could be, like, doing this and then this happens.

And it could be doing this and then that happens.

And it's nine out of 10 times.

And it's not that a man won't have the responsibility.

That's not what I'm saying.

But the woman will be the one who will have to stay, stop and start more times than not.

Yeah.

Than men will have to.

The likelihood.

Yeah.

And so you're constantly redefining.

Yeah.

Constantly refining and finding.

It's, you know, and women also in society still to this day, God help us.

I think there's many of us that know how to support each other in a very loving way.

Yeah.

But when it comes to the.

All of us rising up together and all lifting each other up and all succeeding, there's always one bitch in the place.

Like, I'm sorry, bitch, but I'm the only one here that gets to be.

I'm like, homie, we don't play that game.

I think that's life.

It's the brokenness of humanity, isn't it?

There's always one, Felicia.

There's always one.

There's always one.

Always one.

And to that point, you know, that comes back to, like, then the tribes you run with.

Yeah, yeah.

Finding your people.

Finding your people.

And that's so important.

Again, I sort of bring it back to motherhood because of.

Because of, obviously the audience, but it's finding your people.

And also, I heard quite a powerful thing from a mutual acquaintance of ours, Mr. Paul Meddick.

Oh, I love where it was so powerful for me.

He was talking.

We're doing the marketing things together.

And he was talking about the fact if people aren't interested in your products or what it is that you do walk on by, they're not your people.

And that's so true for life.

As well, because we try to please people.

And, you know, I'm in the toddler group and why didn't they like me?

Or I'm at school and these people, blah, blah, blah.

Actually, do you know, if you.

If you haven't connected, these aren't your people.

Okay.

You might be seeing them daily.

You can be polite and civil, but let's go and find the people.

Go find the people.

That's the.

That's the adventure.

Well, and it's interesting because I was on a call right before we got on and talking to somebody I've known again for.

Since I was, you know, a teenager.

And we'd never really ultimately lived in the same community outside of boarding school and.

But she found me through my business ventures over the last few years and we were talking about, you know, the pivots and the alignments and doing and the willingness to, like, keep getting up and the willingness to keep growing and the difference between those that do and those that don't.

And, you know, I think that.

Well, this is what people tell me all the time.

They're.

I think they're fairly fascinated by the fact that I keep going and I keep expanding and I keep, you know, which I also see another side of the world that I've been a part of that's like, who does that crab think she is trying to crawl out of the bucket now?

And it's like, had her ass back down here.

No, you're not going to pull my ass back down.

Nope.

You could never pull my ass back down since I was a little girl.

Doesn't mean that I don't care.

It doesn't mean I'm selfish.

No, on the contrary, I'd rather bring us all up with come on grabs, let's all get up out of the bucket.

But.

But at the cost of my own well being.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I have come to a place, Zoe, where it's like I've given a lot to a lot of people and.

Yeah, you have to make decisions about who's healthy for you, who wants good for you as well as you want for them.

Yeah.

Who are the.

I was gonna say who are the radiators in your life and who are the drains?

Correct.

And as a mother.

As a mother, you know, this goes back to very primal things.

You know, though I never had the pleasure of being a mother.

I went through five pregnancies, as I think you know, And I can honestly tell you that I do think I'm a mother in my own way.

I certainly have, you know, that energy.

I think, Felicia, you are.

You are.

To all five.

To all five.

Okay.

Don't get me, crooked girlfriend.

I didn't put waterproof mascara on.

It's gonna have to drain back in.

Look up.

It's all going to have to train back in.

Oh, no.

But I do think that to the core, you know, the beauty of being able to produce life and then to want to do whatever it takes to protect them and provide for them and to give them the opportunity to go out into the world and be fully developed entities in a world that is completely unpredictable.

Will forever always be shifting.

Because that's just how the universe works.

Yeah.

And try to stay safe and stay true to your core and get through it in a way that, you know.

You know, whole and complete.

That and of itself is a job.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The rest of it, you just have to.

It's about like cutting the noise out.

And just caring with them what is.

What is, what is right and true.

It's that listening to the listening.

We've.

We've come full circle.

That sense of this is the direction.

This is right and true.

That deep awe moment.

Nisha, I think we're going to have to wrap up in a few minutes.

But on that note, about being a mother who is trying her best to look after her children and get through the day, but also wants to look beautiful rather than like a scarecrow all the time.

Yeah.

I'm deferring to you, who's had a little bit of experience of the fairy dust.

I'd like quick and simple.

Felicia, what can we do just to, you know.

And I'm not talking like super smart fancy.

No.

What can we do to just occasionally lift.

Lift the game without necessarily spending a lot of time?

Because it is amazing.

Even though the makeup is not for.

It's not like we're going out on the pool.

It's not like we're going to the club looking for the fella.

No.

We just.

It just lifts.

What.

What sort of tips would you give?

Well, so first off, it's kind of funny because I'm such a nature girl.

Yeah.

That the fact that I am talking about the makeup and hair.

Yeah.

First off, this is total bedhead hair.

And I'm lucky to have my hair.

Cause I lost all of it.

So I think I was bald around this time about a year and a half ago.

So I'm going to have that back.

Question.

Did you do the fabulous scarves?

I have to admit.

Yeah.

Oh, I was looking at some.

Some.

You know, I used to Live in Nigeria.

And the women with the scarves.

So you did that as well?

I had.

I have a friend who actually produces beautiful textiles, and so I had some of his scarves.

I wore hats, I did not wear wigs.

And I had a beautiful wig that looked just like my hair.

Yeah.

So.

So I did not wear a wig.

So I did.

I.

But my head was always cold, so I always had to have something on my head regarding beauty.

First off, ironically, going back to, like, talking about the soul.

Mm.

It's an inside job.

So what does that mean when it comes to, like, the visual?

First off, I'm a huge believer in excellent skin care.

And, you know, the trend of Korean skincare is real.

Why?

Because it's been around for thousands of years.

And that's why I'm affiliated with the number one Korean skincare company.

And that's not transactional statement.

It's because it goes back to science and the arts and the results and the benefits.

Yeah.

And now post five time cancer survivor.

I want people to from me.

If it's not my own label, then anything I'm affiliated with, that it's something that I'm secure in putting my name in association with.

Yeah.

So I've aligned myself with the Korean skincare company because whether you're going through motherhood, cancer, you're a professional woman, you want to feel and look good.

It does start with good, healthy skin care.

Why?

You don't need the facials, you don't need the Botox, you don't need the laser treatments.

If you just cleanse, moisturize and protect your skin properly every day, twice a day.

That's number one.

Because when you have healthy, reflective skin, then you don't need a lot of makeup.

Yeah.

And.

Or maybe at all.

And then I'm a big believer in a great lash serum.

Yep.

Yep.

Because a lot of women don't have lashes or they want lashes, and then they get like these lash extensions.

I'm going to do for those on YouTube.

I'm doing an impression of like, a hairy caterpillar with my fingers.

So, Lauren, where's your eyeball?

In there.

Exactly.

God knows what bacteria is hanging around your face.

Oh.

Oh, I hadn't even thought of that.

Oh, just quick question, Tanja.

Again, you've come up close and personal.

My observation is boys and men have amazing eyelashes.

They really do.

And it's wasted on them.

No, I know.

Waste.

I know, I know.

Why do we know why?

I turn to your science.

Why?

I mean, you know, not all men.

Yes.

Of course, certain ones.

So let's.

Let's, you know, let's eliminate a good 75%.

But those that do.

Yeah.

You're just like, wow.

Really?

Wow.

Good for you.

Well done.

Well done.

Well done.

That's great.

That's great.

But I can say that it's like, again, I'm associated with the number one lash serum company.

Why?

Because I just said to this person, I don't know if you can see my lashes in this.

Oh, the beautiful.

I mean, I just said, I don't know any woman who doesn't want to walk out of her house naturally feeling confident.

And lashes just are.

Something about that.

And I've got a hooded eyelid, and I didn't even contour today or anything.

I mean, I am really, like a little bit of lipstick and a little bit of mascara, and I'm 64 people.

Amazing.

So.

And I don't have hair color in my hair because I decided to post cancer, not put color in my hair.

Yeah.

I'm a real minimalist.

Yeah.

But God knows I can paint till the cows come home.

When it comes to the makeup.

Yeah.

But I do believe that there are really simple ways.

Yeah.

Skincare.

Yeah.

A great lash serum.

And I'm happy to share those things with you.

We'll put the links in the show notes.

Yeah.

Yes.

And I can't remember if my lash serum is in the uk, but we'll figure that out.

Yeah.

I know the skincare is.

Yeah.

I also believe in, like, a great supplement, like energy drink again, that I use.

But regarding the makeup, I just think it's simple things, you know, goes back to fine art, highlight and shadows, but not.

I love a drag queen, and I love drag queen makeup, but not on a woman.

Oh, too much.

Too much.

You're not Charlie Chaplin on the stage with the lights.

No.

You're not a Kardashian.

No, no, no, no.

And there's no disrespect to those beautiful women, but, you know, transformation is meant to be subtle.

Yeah.

And women need to know that they are beautiful already.

And I personally think that women aren't told that enough.

And so I definitely believe that it starts with that inner peace.

I also believe, you know, don't.

I mean, I'm a big believer in less is more.

Don't put too much heat to your hair.

Don't over process things.

Don't, you know, shoot yourself up till the cows come home, know who you are and love yourself for who you are.

Because wherever you are, there you are.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So she's not going away.

No.

To love her.

Yeah.

For.

For whatever.

However she shown up that day, like today, I took a side photo of my tummy and my tushy and these leggings, and I'm like 30 pounds up from where I was when I first did, like, had my surgery three years ago.

It's a lot of weight, but at the same time, it's like, I'm just going to love myself for who I am, where I'm at right now.

Yeah.

And I share that with your audience.

To say there are things you can do.

Having clean makeups again, in the skincare, the Korean skincare brand, we have really clean cushion makeup, so.

Mm.

And a nice highlight, a nice shadow, a little bit of a, you know, like your lip, like the blushy lip, a blushy cheek, a little bit of mascara, taped eyebrow, the rest of it.

Call it a day.

Simple, simple.

Keep it simple.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just love yourself for who you are.

You're beautiful for who you are.

Don't try to be somebody else.

I love the fact that that has come from a Hollywood makeup artist.

It was like, just keep it simple and love yourself.

Yeah.

Because, you know, all that image out there, all those.

Well, a lot more magazines that we used to see, but now the Internet, that's all fake.

Yeah.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

It is.

And it's really, really important to believe in you.

Yeah.

It's really important to surround yourself with people who will be honest and loving with you and help you to feel good from the inside out.

Beautiful.

And also, we as women have to claim our power and we have to hold it near and dear because we tend to give it to everybody else before we give it to ourselves.

Yeah.

Yes.

And, you know, that's how I got the.

Well, being Whisperer can be the title, but it's really true.

And you.

And you can't.

You can't give to everybody else on an empty tank.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is one of the things I talk about with a lot of moms and just say, you know, you need to have.

I call it the running away time, which is probably not the most positive, but you just need to step out and just be yourself and quiet and fill your bottle so that you can return.

And then all the kind of the tsunami of emotions, it kind of washes over you in such a different way.

So coming back to the skincare and the makeup, even just sort of saying, right, I'm going to have five minutes in the morning.

Maybe there's a baby, you know, Pottering about my feet, but just this is happening, this is happening.

And this is a non negotiable.

Yeah.

I might not have the baby straddled around my ankle, but I am probably straddling three or four dogs.

I was gonna.

Trying to get to the sink, just trying to reach over to do my little routine, but it is about self care.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And when your hormones are going through all the things that will go through from your teens to your 80s, 90s or however long you're here, your skin is going to be going through all the shifts.

Yeah.

That's your hair is going to be going through the shifts, the nails, your weight, all the things.

Be gentle.

Yes.

So good, healthy, healing things.

Simple things will pay off consistently.

Yeah.

Small steps.

And I think that is how, again, contrast with the corporate ladder, which is very sort of regimented and going up like this.

Whereas women, we take a few steps and then pause and then a few steps, but it's just that gentle sort of plodding.

Yeah, Gentle going forward.

Yeah.

You know, you gotta give to you first before you give to others.

Yep, Very true.

Very true.

Felicia, that was a beautiful conversation.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Real privilege, Real privilege.

I'm going to be mulling over this now.

It's going to be rolling around my head for days and things will come.

But thank you so much.

So, everybody, if you want to connect with Felicia, it's felicalinsky.com all the details in the show, notes, social media links to the products that she's mentioned, it'll all be down there.

And yes, do follow Felicia.

That was wonderful.

Thank you so much, everyone.

Thank you.

Thank you, Felicia.

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