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What ought to be a time of spiritual reflection upon the celebration of the birth of The Messiah and a joyful time spent with kith and kin… well, anyone else noticed how easily it isn’t? How Christmas gift ideas seem to take over. And how instead this time of year can easily descend into an overstimulating smorgasbord of twinkling lights, excessive tinsel and a surfeit of gift buying.
Particularly if you’re a mama with a big family (although I see that any size family has its share of feeling flustered in December), you know exactly what I mean. There’s a magic in giving gifts at Christmas—especially in a larger household—but also the potential for a whole lot of stress… trying to think up the Christmas gift ideas for all the people is in itself quite a laborious challenge.
So, how do we embrace this tradition without losing our minds (or our budgets) in the process? Grab a cup of tea, and read on for some practical tips as well as some psychological and philosophical musings.
Thoughtful Gifts That Aren’t Clutter
Bonnie Landry and I had a great chat about this on the Make Joy Normal podcast (check it out here). As a mama of seven children and more than 25 years’ worth of home schooling experience under her belt, Bonnie’s got many a tip gleaned from much experience.
We talked about how gift-giving can be so much more than just the presents and their costs—it’s about connection. In a big family, it can be easy to let Christmas gift ideas turn into a logistical nightmare and a furore of wrapping paper and overwhelmed children (and mamas) on Christmas day itself.
But at its heart, remember, giving a gift is a way to say, “I see you, I love you, and I’ve thought about you.”
Bonnie shared how her family has always embraced this. For them, gifts aren’t just about the item; it’s about the thought behind it. Whether it’s a handmade trinket, a charity shop find or a shop-bought treasure, the magic is in showing that you know what matters to that person. And in a big family, that’s powerful. It’s an opportunity to strengthen bonds and mend little rifts—because let’s face it, no family is perfect.
So here are a few Christmas gift ideas to help you cut through the overwhelm.
Practical Tips for Big Family Gift-Giving
1. Start Early and Make a Plan
Last-minute shopping is a recipe for stress, especially when you’re buying for lots of people. And the only real solution is to start early, well before autumn in an ideal world! Make a list (and check it twice) of who you’re buying for and start jotting down Christmas gift ideas early. As a busy mama I’m sure you’ve got a planner somewhere to keep the family show on the road so make a dedicated space in there to jot down Christmas gift ideas. Always keep ears open for when a child, your husband and / or other family members mention something they fancy. By the time December rolls around, you’ve got a head start.
2. Set a Budget (and Stick to It)
It’s easy to get carried away in the holiday excitement, but setting a budget for these Christmas gift ideas helps keep things in check and ensures affordable gifts. When January rolls in (I suspect you’re probably reading this in the autumn or even early December. You’re a rare beast if you’re looking at this in high summer) start monthly saving for your Christmas budget which’ll mean so much less stress by the time you need to buy presents.
And if this year’s Christmas spending is already looking like the national debt of a small nation, remember Christmas is an annual event so you’ve a chance to make amends next year.
And possibly return a few gifts already this year and get some money back.
3. Encourage Sibling Gift Exchanges
In a big family, getting everyone involved in giving makes the season more special. Sibling exchanges teach children the joy of giving and thinking about others. If the logistics of having children buy a Christmas gift idea for each sibling is too much (imagine in a family of seven, that’s six gifts from each child so a total of 42 gifts just betwixt brothers and sisters. Golly)…
…why not have each child draw a name and choose (or make) something for their sibling? Whilst the children are little, we as a family will have a day out in December when we hit the charity shops or pound shops so they’re Christmas gift ready. This also ticks the boxes for Home Education; practical maths in action as they work out their pocket money budgets and sort out change in the shops.
Ultimately though, it’s heart-warming to watch them put thought into a gift, and it helps them appreciate the process and build up to Christmas day.
4. Gift Ideas for People who don’t want more stuff
Sometimes, less is more. Instead of individual gifts, think about something the whole family can enjoy together—a board game, a family outing, or even a subscription box. These gifts create memories, not clutter. Bonnie talked about families who skip traditional gifts altogether and plan a special holiday trip or experience. While that’s not for everyone, it’s a reminder that gifts can come in many forms AND you’re more likely to stick to a budget if you’ve paid for a holiday in one, fell swoop.
4. An finally, if in crisis, remember this rhyme…
…and you’ll never have a problem buying gifts again!
Get them something they want, something they need, something they love and something to read.
Gift-Giving as a Love Language
For some families, gift-giving is a major Love Language. I’m more of a Time and Service sort of a gal so it’s been fascinating really reflecting how best to honour family and friends for whom Gift-Giving is massive; it’s their way of saying, “I know you, I see you.” And isn’t that what we all want, especially as mamas? To feel seen and loved amidst the chaos of daily life.
If gift-giving isn’t your primary love language, that’s absolutely fine. There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate and maybe it’s a case of really paring down your Christmas gift ideas to the absolute essence. Some families choose to skip gifts entirely, focusing instead on shared meals and purely the traditions of Christmas. The key is to find what works for your family and embrace it wholeheartedly.
Creating Memories That Last
At the end of the day, the gifts themselves will fade. The toys will break, the children will outgrow their clothes—but the memories you create will last. Christmas isn’t about perfection. Think about the preamble and the actual Nativity of Christ. Was it perfect? Not to any modern-day mama’s standards. Imagine Mary and all that sitting on a donkey FOR DAYS whilst vastly pregnant. Then there’s no accommodation to be had anywhere so there’s free-birthing in a stable.
And yet this event was the Ultimate Gift. An Act of Love so huge we sometimes can’t put it into words. And that memory will never fade.
Remember, as fun as the presents can be, the most important gifts given at Christmas – whatever size of family you have – are presence and love.
It’s as simple and as hard as that.
This post is based on the discussion I had with Bonnie Landry of Make Joy Normal. You can listen to the full conversation here.
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