Navigating Divorce || Insights from Divorce Coach Sarah Woodward
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Marriage is one of the most hopeful decisions we make.
Two people promise to build a life together; a home, perhaps children, a future that stretches decades ahead.
So when a marriage breaks down, it rarely feels like a simple administrative change. It feels more like an earthquake. Everything familiar shifts.
In the UK, around 42% of marriages end in divorce.
Behind that statistic are real families, real grief, and often a lot of unanswered questions.
In this episode of the Real Life. Real Kitchen Podcast, I spoke with divorce coach Sarah Woodward, who helps individuals navigate the emotional and practical realities of separation. With a background in finance and years of coaching experience, Sarah supports people at every stage of the process, whether they are questioning their relationship, navigating a breakup, or rebuilding life afterwards.
Our conversation explored not only the reality of divorce, but also what marriages need in order to survive the pressures of modern family life.
What a Divorce Coach Actually Does
Many people are familiar with therapy, but divorce coaching is a newer concept.
Sarah explains the difference with a helpful metaphor.
Therapy often looks backward, exploring the past to understand how someone arrived at their current situation.
Coaching, by contrast, looks forward.
It focuses on practical decisions, emotional resilience, and helping people regain control of their future.
In other words:
Therapy looks in the rear-view mirror.
Coaching looks through the windscreen.
Clients typically leave coaching sessions with clear action steps, whether that involves navigating legal processes, managing emotions, or rebuilding confidence after separation.
Sarah often works alongside family lawyers and financial professionals so clients have a support team around them during one of the most stressful periods of life.
Divorce Is a Grieving Process
One of the most powerful insights from the conversation was how closely divorce mirrors bereavement.
Divorce is widely considered the second most stressful life event after the death of a loved one.
People often move through stages of grief such as:
- shock and denial
- anger
- bargaining
- depression
- acceptance
And just like grief, it isn’t a neat, linear process.
You might feel you’ve reached acceptance… only to find yourself thrown back into anger or sadness when new developments arise.
Understanding this emotional cycle can be hugely reassuring for people who feel like they are “not coping well enough”.
In reality, what they’re experiencing is entirely normal.
Why Marriages Break Down
Contrary to popular belief, divorce rarely happens because of one dramatic event.
Instead, it tends to build slowly over time.
Sarah sees common patterns such as:
- lack of communication
- emotional disconnection
- growing apart
- unresolved resentment
- unrealistic expectations about relationships
Interestingly, infidelity, often seen as the cause of divorce, is frequently a symptom of deeper issues already present in the marriage.
Many couples drift apart gradually without addressing the underlying disconnect.
Sometimes this is described as “quietly quitting” a marriage, where one partner emotionally withdraws long before separation is formally discussed.
The Rise of “Grey Divorce”
One trend that has been increasing in recent years is grey divorce; couples separating later in life, often after decades of marriage.
This commonly happens when:
- children have left home
- couples realise they have grown apart
- financial independence gives people more freedom to leave
Women’s increased financial independence is one of the major social shifts influencing this trend.
Another factor is simply that people are living longer.
If someone separates in their 50s, they may still have decades of life ahead — and many start questioning whether they want to spend those years in an unhappy relationship.
Protecting Children During Divorce
One of the most important parts of the conversation centred on children.
Divorce does affect children… but research shows that how the divorce is handled matters more than the divorce itself.
Key principles Sarah recommends include:
- keeping children out of conflict
- never speaking badly about the other parent in front of them
- avoiding using children as messengers or leverage
- ensuring they maintain relationships with both parents
Above all, children should remain at the centre of decision-making.
When parents focus on protecting their children’s emotional stability, outcomes tend to be far healthier.
Can Marriages Be Revived?
Interestingly, some people approach Sarah while they are still deciding whether to leave their marriage.
In those cases, her goal isn’t to push someone towards divorce — quite the opposite.
She encourages clients to ask difficult questions:
- What exactly isn’t working in the marriage?
- Are these issues changeable?
- Are both partners willing to work on the relationship?
Sometimes, honest conversations and renewed effort can revive a struggling marriage.
But that requires both partners to be invested.
As Sarah explains, you cannot change someone who doesn’t want to change.
Communication Is the Most Powerful Prevention Tool
If there was one theme repeated throughout our conversation, it was communication.
Many marriages deteriorate simply because difficult conversations are avoided for too long.
Practical ways couples can strengthen relationships include:
- checking in regularly about expectations
- setting aside time together as a couple (not just as parents)
- addressing frustrations before resentment builds
- seeking professional support early rather than as a last resort
Marriage counselling, coaching, or even honest conversations can prevent problems from escalating into something far more painful later.
A Growth Mindset After Divorce
Sarah’s work is also rooted in positive psychology, which focuses on resilience and personal growth.
Even after a devastating breakup, many people eventually rebuild stronger, more fulfilling lives.
The key is adopting a growth mindset, the belief that challenges can lead to development rather than permanent defeat.
That doesn’t remove the pain of divorce.
But it does remind people that this moment does not define the rest of their lives.
Listen to the Full Conversation
In the full episode, Sarah and I also discuss:
- the difference between coaching and therapy
- financial realities of divorce settlements
- the importance of professional support during separation
- rebuilding identity and confidence after divorce
If this topic resonates with you, whether personally or through someone you love, the full conversation offers thoughtful insight and practical guidance.
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