This post may contain affiliate links. Disclosure here.
So you’ve read Part 1 of this blogpost series on Having a Day of Rest at which point… “What?!”, I hear you cry, “I’m too busy to have a full day of rest or Sabbath! All the family still need all the feeding, the house needs all the cleaning, the work & life admin needs all the doing and ALL THE THINGS!”
Sure. And by gum it’s a pressure we as busy mothers feel these days. Unlike much of Continental Europe where Sundays are quiet and set the tone of a restful day for society & thus the family, that’s not the case in the UK. Sunday trading laws were changed in the mid 1990s so you can shop and work on a Sunday almost as if it’s any other day of the week.
And as for in the home! The “To Do” list is endless and is often filled with things that are cyclical and will never end (laundry anyone?). There’s work commitments to juggle & we still feel the societal pressure from outside To Do All The Things. For example, social events, afterschool activities, birthday parties etc etc…
And guess who has the power to make it stop? You do. If you want to.
You can say no.
One day a week.
Creating Boundaries for your day of rest
Nothing beyond the family will collapse without you. I’m sorry to say, but in some ways, you are dispensable… especially for certain social situations.
For example, I give you permission TO SKIP the 25th full class birthday party at the sweaty soft play centre. TO SKIP the full weekend football tournament. TO SKIP a second cousin’s wedding if it means avoiding all the stress of logistics that come with a wedding miles away where children are not invited …
… If it means you can rest, recharge and fill your own emotional, physical and spiritual bottle. Thus you can continue to thrive, to love, to look after and treasure your family.
So, that’s the external pressures sorted. A powerful and terrifying no is necessary.
But what of the internal, domestic pressures? Just how are we going to rest and celebrate this rest amidst cleaning and cooking?
Cleaning & Tidying
This is where we need to look back to tradition. Yes, women were the ones who historically looked after hearth & home and its associated cleaning. But it wasn’t done alone. There would have been extended family and community around to help and the wealthy, quite frankly, had Staff.
Today, this is not quite the case. Keeping house might still be overseen by the mother (someone’s got to take charge of the household; it won’t run itself) but it doesn’t mean she has to do ALL THE THINGS. We’re not slaves. It also isn’t setting our children up to become good stewards of their future homes if we don’t give them chores to do.
I suggest that late Saturday afternoons become a time of tidying as a family. It won’t take long. Blitz it in ½ an hour to a timer for a family challenge, with everyone taking responsibility for a particular space (an age-appropriate size of space and responsibility of course).
If you can all clean, that’s a bonus. However even the smallest toddler can help put their toys away if everyone is in a tidying mode. Get the house in order so that it becomes a sanctuary for Sunday and you’re setting the tone for the family that’ll help create this day of rest.
On the Saturday night, lay the table for breakfast (although this is a good habit for every night of the week if you’ve got small children) so when you come downstairs first thing, you’re already faced with order and peace.
Food for the Sabbath: a practical guide
As for feeding all the people on Sunday, take some time out to consider what your family enjoys. Choose food that means as little cooking for you as possible. Something like a family recipe book or meal planner is a great help here. You’ll always got your Sabbath recipes at the ready.
For example, this is what I do. On Friday or Saturday, I’ll start cooking. Something like gammon in the Instant Pot (you can use the boullion for soup or cooking beans later in the week), or maybe a couple of roast chickens. Obviously, leftover meat can later be enjoyed with in salads, sandwiches, soups or as a stew. And don’t forget to use the bones for stock.
Whilst the oven is on, I might bake a couple of loaves of bread to go with them. Another option is potato salad with a honey, mustard and onion dressing rather than a mayonnaise-based one. This means you can roast any leftover potatoes for a meal later in the week.
It’s then easy to have salad and coleslaw in the fridge, with vegetable crudités at the ready for dipping in a humus.
I’ll keep all of these in a glass oven dish / Tupperware thing you get from Ikea (although I’m sure other brands exist). Why? Because they’re super easy to pop in the dishwasher which means less work for you.
Keep your day of rest simple
Do keep it simple. As is the case in Judaism, the limited range of recipes that families have on the Shabbat means there’s familiarity. Boring is good as it means less fuss from small children, less fuss due to novelty and more space for chats and relationship.
It’s also easier to invite friends and family over if you (as the mama and main cook) know what’ll be on the table. Finally, it’s easier to focus on the spiritual blessings of life, of which the gift of rest is an important element.
By the way, did you know that the Orthodox Jews switch their mobile phones off for the entirety of the Shabbat? Along with the food prep, the tidy house, the simple recipe ideas this also helps create a space of rest for all the busy mamas out there.
And might be a good thing for all of us to embrace. Starting now.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you get a day of rest?
Prepare. Take time out to make a plan of what needs tending to e.g. cooking, cleaning and relationships. Start implementing it. You’ll make mistakes the first few attempts. Then keep going until you’re practiced enough to have everything in your life ready to make space for this day of rest.
How to have a good Sabbath day?
Tend to your spiritual, emotional and physical needs. Rest is so important for all of these so you can grow into the person you’re meant to be. Keep doing too much and it all falls apart. So rest. Nourish your body and soul and those around you. And pray and go to Church if that’s your cup of tea too.
Generated with Pin Generator
