Motherhood, Loneliness, & the Lost Village || A Chat with Carly Church
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Intro
There’s a particular loneliness that can creep in during motherhood, even when you’re surrounded by people. You can have a baby in your arms, messages on your phone, and a calendar full of obligations, yet still feel profoundly unsupported. Many mothers sense that something about the way we do pregnancy, postpartum, and family life today is… off. Not because mothers are failing, but because the systems around them are.
In this episode of The Real Life. Real Kitchen Podcast, I’m joined by Carly Church, founder of We Got You Mama, for a wide-ranging, deeply honest conversation about maternal mental health, loneliness, community, and why modern mothers are being asked to carry far too much alone. It’s a conversation that names hard truths and offers real hope.
About the Guest
Carly Church is a mother of three, former entertainment industry professional, author, speaker, and the founder of We Got You Mama, a growing platform, podcast, and movement dedicated to supporting mothers through pregnancy, postpartum, and every stage beyond.
After navigating anxiety, depression, and years of undiagnosed ADHD herself, Carly became acutely aware of the vast gaps in care and support for mothers. Known for her sharp humour, deep empathy, and refreshingly direct voice, she now brings together experts, resources, and community to help women move from survival mode into sustainable thriving. You can find her work at wegotyoumama.com or on Instagram @we.got.you.mama.
Episode Highlights
From Entertainment to Advocacy: Finding Her Real Work
Carly’s path to maternal advocacy wasn’t linear. After more than two decades in the entertainment industry, she found herself increasingly drawn to community-building through her work running postpartum fitness and wellness programmes for mums.
What she noticed was telling: women might come for the workout, but they stayed for the connection. The conversations. The sense of not being alone. The loneliness of motherhood and the clear need for the lost village was apparent.
That same pattern had existed throughout her life; in acting classes, creative spaces, and eventually motherhood. Community wasn’t a “nice-to-have”. It was essential. And when she became a mother herself, the absence of that village became impossible to ignore.
“Everything I create now is everything I wish I had known.”
The Silence Around Motherhood, Loneliness & the Lost Village and Why It’s Dangerous
One of the most striking parts of this conversation is Carly’s reflection on how much mothers aren’t told; especially before their first baby arrives. The physical realities of birth and recovery. The emotional upheaval. The sheer shock of how life changes overnight.
Carly shares candidly how she sat down with her best friend, just days postpartum herself, to explain what no one had explained to her. Not to scare her, but to prepare her.
This silence, she argues, doesn’t protect women. It leaves them blindsided. And when mothers don’t recognise what’s happening to them, especially with postpartum anxiety or depression, they often suffer alone.
Loneliness Is Not a Personal Failure
A major theme of the episode is loneliness, not as a character flaw, but as a structural issue. Carly references research showing that close to 80% of parents report feeling lonely after having children.
This isn’t because they lack gratitude or resilience. It’s because modern parenthood has been stripped of the village it was designed to exist within.
“Parenting has become hazardous to our health — not because of the children, but because of the lack of support.”
When mothers are expected to recover from birth, care for a newborn, manage a household, and often return to paid work within weeks — all without sustained help — loneliness becomes inevitable.
Maternal Mental Health Is a Life-or-Death Issue
The conversation turns sober as Carly speaks about maternal mental health and why it cannot be treated as an optional extra.
She explains that maternal mental health conditions are among the leading causes of pregnancy-related deaths in the first year postpartum. Not because women don’t want help, but because systems often fail to refer, listen, or take mothers seriously when they advocate for themselves.
Carly shares a devastating story of a woman who sought help repeatedly, was dismissed, and later took her own life, leaving behind a baby and a grieving family.
This is why Carly is so insistent that support must be proactive, layered, and human. Mothers shouldn’t have to fight to be believed.
Boundaries, Advocacy, and Protecting a Mother’s Energy
Throughout the episode, Carly returns to the importance of boundaries, especially for mothers who have been conditioned to please, cope, and carry on.
Learning to say no. To step back from relationships that drain rather than nourish. To protect time, energy, and mental health; not selfishly, but responsibly.
“If mum is not well, the whole family feels it.”
This isn’t about individual optimisation. It’s about recognising that mothers are foundational; to families, to communities, and ultimately to society.
Why Financial Literacy Is Part of Mother Care
One of the more unexpected — and powerful — threads in this conversation is Carly’s emphasis on financial literacy for mothers.
She explains how many women are excluded from financial decision-making, despite carrying enormous amounts of unpaid labour. From insurance to savings to contingency planning, mothers are often under-informed leaving them vulnerable in times of crisis.
Supporting mothers, Carly argues, must include practical tools: financial education, workplace flexibility, and realistic parental leave policies that reflect the true cost of caregiving.
Technology as a Tool
Carly is clear-eyed about technology. It can overwhelm, distract, and disconnect, but used well, it can also support mothers in tangible ways.
From vetted online resources to practical tools that reduce mental load, technology can help rebuild pieces of the village that geography and modern life have eroded.
The key is discernment — and using tools that genuinely serve rather than demand more from already exhausted mums.
Quick Takeaways
- Loneliness in motherhood is systemic, not personal
- Mothers were never meant to do this alone
- Maternal mental health support can save lives
- Boundaries protect families, not just individuals
- Financial literacy is a form of maternal care
- Community is essential, not optional
Now What?
Listen to the full episode of The Real Life. Real Kitchen Podcast with Carly Church and if this conversation resonated, please share it with another mum or with someone who loves a mum and wants to know how to support her better.
Because rebuilding the village starts with telling the truth.
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